Monday, July 02, 2012

GUILTY

By Persistent

I'm afraid I'm guilty...guilty for seeing a controversial article posted on a friend's Facebook status and commenting.  Most of the time I will see something someone has shared and I will check it out but rarely comment on it.  That is until it is a controversial topic as related to the Church and/or scripture.  Then I take the bait and have to put my rambling two-cents worth in.  Which usually ends up in a no-win debate.  The debater in me loves the volleying back and forth of intellectual ideas but it's not healthy for the part of me that doesn't deal well with frustration. 

What had me so frustrated this time around?  What I thought to be a well-defined position by the Church as a whole is now being questioned by individual Christians who I never thought would question such a thing.  Which now has me questioning them, myself and the Church's position.  So what was the topic that has me flustered now for over a week?  "I'm an evangelical Christian and support same-sex marriage" is what I read and just had to respond to. 

It reminds me of the time I was in college and my Sunday School teacher (not in the Nazarene church) shared that he and his wife were pro-choice in the debate on abortion.  WHAT?!   How do the two go together?

That was my thought this time around.  How can someone who believes in and has a relationship with God and knows his Word support something that goes directly against it all? 

To quickly sum up the whole of my fb friend's stance as I understand it--we cannot legislate people into a relationship with Christ.  When we bully others into behaving in a way that they don't believe in we are failing to show the radical love of Christ.  If we can love and accept them the way they are, that is how we win them to Christ.  Jesus never spent his time trying to get his way made into the law of the land.

Even now there are so many thoughts swirling in my head I can barely organize them to get them down but I guess the first thing that comes to mind is that the enemy's best deception has a grain of truth to it.

Of course my friend is right--law has NEVER made anyone right with God.  We ARE called to love and accept people as they are because that's what Jesus did.  The radical love of Jesus IS what draws people into relationship with him.  So where do we split in our beliefs?  I believe that scripture clearly speaks against homosexuality and while we are to love the people we cannot overlook, condone nor support something that goes against God's Word.  Is this going to offend some people?  Of course.  Jesus was always offending someone when he spoke the truth.  Even though he spoke the truth in love.  It's hard for me to take, hearing from God that I'm in the wrong.  It's humbling.  But I know it's the discipline of a loving parent.  I think that as Americans we have the right to voice our opinions and as Christians we are obligated to stand up for our faith.  I think it does matter to God what the moral fiber of our nation is and what we are living amongst.

Over the week as I kept reading scripture, praying about this, stewing on it and talking out my thoughts with my husband I found myself being pulled into the argument my friend was making (intellectually it made sense--I just couldn't agree spiritually).  Then I came across a blog my husband had found, rachelheldevans.com  "Ask A ..." Series.  I clicked on it and found a very intriguing discussion she entitled, "Ask A Gay Christian" (which my fb friend also found and posted).   Prompted by questions from readers, gay Christian, Justin Lee, eloquently and graciously explains how he found himself in a position of being an on-fire Christian and battling homosexual feelings.  Wow.  You should take the time to read it.  I really liked Justin just by hearing his responses.  I appreciate the way he honestly shared his story.  I empathized with him for what he's gone through.  And I was amazed that he understands the position that most Christians take, that homosexual relationships are wrong.  He does end up saying that after much studying of scripture he came to a different conclusion in his interpretation than most of us have.  He believes that where there are negative verses in regards to homosexuality it is in response to very specific situations where lust was the focus.  He believes that a loving, monogamous homosexual relationship is not what Paul or others are referring to and that is how he has reconciled his Christianity with his homosexual feelings. 

Do I agree with his conclusion?  No, but I'm sure by now that's not a surprise to you.  He did however bring up some really great points that I don't think we can ignore.  One I wanted to point out... he didn't choose to start having these thoughts, feelings and temptations.  I can believe that.  We all struggle with thoughts, feelings and temptations that we didn't ask for.  Even as a young child I've dealt with my temper and once in a while it is still an issue I have to die to self on.  Some of us are tempted to overeat, some have feelings of bitterness and some have had thoughts of someone other than their spouse.  Does this mean they've done anything wrong?  Should the Church judge them and turn them away for these thoughts, feelings and temptations?  No!  Even Jesus was tempted.  To be tempted isn't a sin.  Unfortunately, many people who deal with homosexual thoughts, feelings and temptations have found themselves being judged and turned out by their churches.  Shame on us for that!  That's not showing the radical love of Christ.  At a time when they most need us and we have the most chance of influencing them, we shun them.  Is it any wonder that many turn away from God at this point?  When asked why he hadn't, Justin simply and beautifully said, "Jesus."  

When someone comes to us and shares their struggles with homosexual thoughts or even actions (which most in the church do consider to be a sin) what is our response?  Aren't these the people we are supposed to be trying to get into our churches? If Jesus was walking the earth today, aren't these the people he would be hanging out with?  How do we help them?  I'm afraid that the cause of so much hurt between the gay commmunity and the Church is because most of us Christians don't know the answer to that.  We don't know what to say, much less what to do.  I don't have the answers to that either, except to say that we shouldn't begin lecturing, judging and freaking out on them.  I think we first and foremost need to listen to them.  Really hear them and where they're at.  Secondly, I think we need to stop and pray with them.  Pray that God would give us the wisdom in knowing what to do and that he would guide us in the journey we are about to take with this person.  And then if we aren't trained to deal with this, we need to seek out those who are.  And I don't mean drop the person off at the pastor's door and let him deal with it.  If the person trusted you enough to talk to you, then I think that it's our obligation to walk with them, disciple them.  If that means going to the pastor together and working through this with them then that's what we need to do.  Being a discipler is messy; it means getting involved in someone else's life even if it's not convenient.  And we need to love them.  Be a friend to them.  The time will come when, because the Church does believe homosexual actions are sin, that the person is going to have to decide what they're going to do in response to God's Word. 

For many, the decision they make will come down to what they believe scripture says about it.  Does it speak against all homosexual relationships or just lustful orgies?  I know what I believe it says, but that's not really what I want to focus on now--it just leads to more of those frustrating debates.  I am curious though, as a response from those of you reading this, have you had to deal with this in some way?  What did you do?  How did it turn out?  Do you believe that the Church, while well-intentioned, has made some mistakes in how it handles people dealing with homosexuality?  Do we have different standards when dealing with that sin vs. other sins?  How can we reach out and make a difference now?  Do you believe as my fb friend does that love is all we need?  Or do you find flaws in that like I do?  Is there a way to be Love and still stand firm in what we believe to be right and wrong? 

I'm afraid I'm guilty...guilty of not having all the answers but wanting to truly and humbly seek God and hear his heart on this matter.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous11:28 AM

    I want to post a comment, and I am praying it is from a loving heart. A long time ago my husband and I decided to show the love of God to a young teen emersed in the homosexual lifestyle. He openly told us he had been with numerous partners. With this teen boy we built a relationship and we agreed to be on call 24/7 if he wanted to talk or come to our house or just needed friendship.

    After much time and effort and our attempts to help him leave his homosexual lifestyle he left the church. But, not after teaching my husband and I several things about his lifstyle.

    1# He had numberous partners. One time we took our teens to a fun park and after just a short time he showed us a young man that he had already been in the restroom with having sex.

    2# Those involved in the HS lifestyle frequently seek out additional partners for quick 1 time sexual preasures. Because of this young man,we had 3 homosexual men attend our church for the purpose of looking over our men, seeking additional partners. NOT GOOD!!!

    I understand that love must be shown, I get this, but knowing what I know, which is really pretty small, I find it hard to tolerate the continuance of this lifestyle.

    Here is what I believe...God is bigger than anything including homosexuality. God can deliver a person from sin. Isaiah 9:6 says that God is the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace. He is all that we need. He not only loves the sinner, He is love. Through the cross He took on all sin, including homosexuality. I believe that anyone who accepts His forgiveness and believes in Him can be set free of the sin that trys to hold the sinner.

    WOW...I am sounding like a preacher. Sorry!!!

    Thanks for this blog. I will pray it helps us all, including me. :)

    ReplyDelete

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